i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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