I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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