Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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