Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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