He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
