guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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