so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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