I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
