why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
