i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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