So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
