I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize