So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
