How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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