in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
