are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize