if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
