$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
