Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
