he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
