the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
