Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
