If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
