I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
