Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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