There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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