I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
