fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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