Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize