the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize