Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
