i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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