my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
