Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
