Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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