So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
