I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
