I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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