Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I need to stop coming to work sober
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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