....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
