im drinking this country out of the recession.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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