I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Randomize
