Duck Duck Cougar?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
