Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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