I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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