Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
