Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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