never play flip cup with pint glasses
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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