I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
