you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she looked like the before picture.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
