2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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