well I can't set my house on fire every night
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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