I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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