ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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