weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
