Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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