Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
