She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize