I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
