so that wasnt chicken after all
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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