I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
