were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
