Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The best revenge is premature balding
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
